Sunday, May 8, 2016

Green roots



I received a pleasant visit from a  friend who runs one of those advanced calculating systems. He shared this with me. He tells me it is very funny, a parody on fellow workers who demand unmerited authority. I don't quite get the technology, but we all know the arrogant striver who wants more authority than he has demonstrated he can handle.

Jessep: You want access?
Kaffee: I think I'm entitled to it.
Jessep: You want access?
Kaffee: I want root!
Jessep: You can't handle root! 
Son, we live in a world that has policies. And those policies have to be guarded by men with root. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for access and you curse the Admins. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that your inability to do what you want, while tragic, probably prevented a crash. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves systems...You don't want root. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me restricting you. You need me to restrict you.
We use words like availability, performance, service level...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline. 
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very system stability I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you put your ass on the line and stand a shift on-call, explaining to 10,000 users why the system is down. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!

2 comments:

  1. If you have green roots, bro,
    they dont go down far
    which is reality...
    however, lemme fill-you-up withe efficacious epiphany and subliminal epithets of the Great Beyond for you so you, too, shall experience what I did in Oct 30, 85...

    Let this be your catalyst to Seventh-Heaven:

    'The more you shall honor Me,
    the more I shall bless you'
    -the Infant Jesus of Prague
    (<- Czech Republic, next to Russia)

    Love him or leave him or indifferent...
    better lissen to the Don:

    If you deny o'er-the-Hillary's evil,
    which most whorizontal demokrakkrs do,
    you cannot deny Hellfire
    which YOU send YOURSELF to.

    Yes, earthling, I was an NDE:
    the sights were beyond extreme.
    Choose Jesus.
    You'll be most happy you did.
    God bless your indelible soul.

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you have green roots, bro,
    they dont go down far
    which is reality...
    however, lemme fill-you-up withe efficacious epiphany and subliminal epithets of the Great Beyond for you so you, too, shall experience what I did in Oct 30, 85...

    Let this be your catalyst to Seventh-Heaven:

    'The more you shall honor Me,
    the more I shall bless you'
    -the Infant Jesus of Prague
    (<- Czech Republic, next to Russia)

    Love him or leave him or indifferent...
    better lissen to the Don:

    If you deny o'er-the-Hillary's evil,
    which most whorizontal demokrakkrs do,
    you cannot deny Hellfire
    which YOU send YOURSELF to.

    Yes, earthling, I was an NDE:
    the sights were beyond extreme.
    Choose Jesus.
    You'll be most happy you did.
    God bless your indelible soul.

    ReplyDelete