Dear Uncle Snidely
I have a serious problem. I can't seem to impress or inspire the
affection of any of the young ladies I meet. My life is rapidly become a
lonely struggle against despair. I see that you never seem to lack for
feminine company. Please teach me how can I win with the ladies.
Ladyless Loser
Dear Loser
Once, I was much like you. As an Actor and Comedian, one would think I
would have had my choice of Companionship. Particularly as actresses as a
class are, let us not term them Strumpets, but rather Girls Who Are
Liberal in Their Affections. I did all those things Boys are told will
impress women, Pay them pretty compliments, be Eager and Helpful to them
when they needed assistance, treat them with Respect. None of it did
any good.
I have told the story before of how I became the Storied Colossus of
Albertan Finance. Abandoned, penniless, friendless in a near-Arctic
frontier town, I turned at first to menial labor. I took a job minding
horses at the local House of Ill Repute. This employment opened my eyes
to a Great Many Realities of Life that my upbringing, and especially my
reading of Romantic Novels, had sheltered me from.
