"Judge Kavanaugh killed my kid sister with an axe!"

I have received the following missive by post. The writer wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons, but I am quite familiar with him, and have every reason to believe that the accusations contained herein are credible.

Mr Whiplash,

I am writing to you as I do not know where else to turn. My story needs to come out lest a very demon in human form become a justice on the US Supreme Court.